tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74364254585081565172024-03-13T14:31:14.823-07:00Wife, mommy, diabetic....my sanity is missing!!!Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-56157767749786636872011-08-28T09:12:00.001-07:002011-08-28T09:12:20.757-07:00Two fucking hellacious nightsGoodness I have no idea where to begin.<br />
<br />
Thursday at work was hell on wheels. Backstory, I do home health with 2 guys in one apartment. One guy is super quiet, needs minimal assistance. Just perfect. The other guy is very very agitated constantly, Always worrying about who's coming in that night, going next door (they take him to another apartment when they have to take guy #1 to the doctor. he HATES it, yet they still do it). So Thursday they took guy #1 to the doctor and guy #2 went next door. Of course when I got in at 2pm, he was wound up from that. I managed to semi calm him for my shift. Later that night, he was at it again. I tried to redirect him to something else. He wasn't having it. He began screaming. LOUDLY. He got violent with himself. Hitting himself in the head. I called my team leader and ask basically, "The fuck do I do????" I've never dealt with that before. According to them, it's a common thing with him :look But he's never attacked staff. <br />
<br />
Last night was 10 times worse then Thursday. Same shit happened. This time he was even more violent with him self. Had 3 different instances where he attacked himself in the head about 5-10 times. I freaked out and called my team leader in tears. I hid in the bathroom while he went about the apartment screaming. Blood curdling screams. I texted J until my team leader got there and tried to calm down. After my shift, I talked with the team leader and told her what happened. She said she'd speak to the administrator about it and see if there's anything they can do about it. He's already heavily medicated (Lithium, Klonopin, and other antipsychotics).<br />
<br />
If this keeps up, I don't know how much longer I can work with them if they don't move me. I can't just sit there an watch him do that and pray he doesn't come at me. <br />
<br />
*whew* I feel better. Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-91352468194660241622011-08-07T21:22:00.000-07:002011-08-07T21:22:57.565-07:00Photo challenge Day 7: Something new<div style="text-align: center;">I ordered these off <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=160612766056&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT">eBay</a> when I was in TN and it took them a little</div><div style="text-align: center;">over 3 weeks to get to me. Darn China! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I've needed these nails wheels since I started collecting different polishes. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I currently have 75 color polishes. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Eeek! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">And my wishlist is continuing to get longer. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G6I12dIy5Is/Tj9jTQuz5CI/AAAAAAAAAJw/GfNpZ7SUXjQ/s1600/IMG_3350.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G6I12dIy5Is/Tj9jTQuz5CI/AAAAAAAAAJw/GfNpZ7SUXjQ/s320/IMG_3350.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-51000158156666623722011-08-05T15:14:00.000-07:002011-08-07T15:20:02.703-07:00Photo challenge Day 5: Someone I Love<div style="text-align: center;">This person has been so amazing to me. I can't thank God enough</div><div style="text-align: center;">for blessing me with a wonderful husband </div><div style="text-align: center;">and an awesome father to our daughter.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rPRupl9b4ug/Tj8PTn05L_I/AAAAAAAAAJM/WrEppZXcLSQ/s1600/IMG_3213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rPRupl9b4ug/Tj8PTn05L_I/AAAAAAAAAJM/WrEppZXcLSQ/s320/IMG_3213.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-49737502857362300222011-08-04T13:56:00.000-07:002011-08-07T15:14:32.681-07:00Photo challenge Day 4: Favorite color<div style="text-align: center;">Pink.<br />
<br />
For a while, I hated seeing pink. Then I got a little older and begin loving it.<br />
I have pink everywhere.<br />
My insulin pump is pink. My mouse & mousepad is pink. The list goes on.<br />
I have more pink polishes than I can count. However this one is my favorite.<br />
<br />
I looked everywhere for this shade of hot pink and found it on clearance at Target. It's Revlon's Candy.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oxni7AlkNfw/Tj8MwIR07UI/AAAAAAAAAJI/RdFzgvfzY-U/s1600/IMG_3183.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oxni7AlkNfw/Tj8MwIR07UI/AAAAAAAAAJI/RdFzgvfzY-U/s320/IMG_3183.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
</div>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-67944257869152245742011-08-03T20:41:00.001-07:002011-08-03T20:41:51.696-07:00Photo challenge Day 3: Clouds<div><p>There weren't many clouds out today but I managed to find these. </p>
<br/><img src='http://lh6.ggpht.com/-FS4qrUC0rws/TjoU_mw1Y_I/AAAAAAAAAI0/4hm5ZqsBkyc/IMAG0333.png' /></div>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-45372862282625022802011-08-01T18:16:00.001-07:002011-08-01T19:55:38.595-07:0030 day photo challenge: Day 1<div><div style="text-align: center;">So I've been wanting to do a photo challenge for a while now. So here goes! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I haven't blogged in forever so hopefully this will get me back into it. Plus, I'm trying to learn more about photography as a HOBBY only. I'm not even trying to be a professional or charge people. With that being said, here we go! </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-42ZgDpGjP98/TjdUGbYNupI/AAAAAAAAAIs/vpTn9eDV0Ds/s1600/87864750_s89iNAhH_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-42ZgDpGjP98/TjdUGbYNupI/AAAAAAAAAIs/vpTn9eDV0Ds/s320/87864750_s89iNAhH_c.jpg" width="268" /></a></div>
This pic was taken with my phone but I love it<br/><img src='http://lh3.ggpht.com/-vUo1wII4DPE/TjdnKJlHVZI/AAAAAAAAAIw/bQ7di4M99mA/IMAG0323.png' /></div>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-2089771721069319132011-04-04T10:11:00.000-07:002011-04-04T10:11:10.881-07:00Meet Mark.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H0vZHRl3ueE/TZn7geUKcBI/AAAAAAAAAGk/A_qBvxWjouA/s1600/199161_189067354471979_100001061462087_479251_2638341_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="97" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H0vZHRl3ueE/TZn7geUKcBI/AAAAAAAAAGk/A_qBvxWjouA/s320/199161_189067354471979_100001061462087_479251_2638341_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
There is a lady by the name of Tia that I met here at Fort Lewis over a year ago. I actually met her on Twitter before I PCS'd here. I've grown to know and love her over this past year. She's truly an amazing friend, mother, and wife. Recently she's started blogging at www.remarkabletia.com and selling Mark.<br />
<br />
<br />
She invited me to come to a meeting that she was attending with her mentor. After seeing everything they had to offer, I was sold.<br />
<br />
I am officially a Mark. representative. The products are very affordable, the start up cost is low, and the products are not tested on animals.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-49964776139376378642011-03-15T12:51:00.000-07:002011-03-15T12:51:57.808-07:00New adventure<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://herd.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451e1dc69e20120a516b74a970b-800wi" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://herd.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451e1dc69e20120a516b74a970b-800wi" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I haven't blogged in a while but I figured I better post a short one.<br />
<br />
Things have been pretty calm and less hectic. We worked hard after my husband got home from his last deployment to save and get him a car. So I have been getting out and visiting friends more and just being able to get up and go without coordinating with his crazy work schedule.<br />
<br />
I have also branched into a new adventure thanks to a fellow good friend. I'm not ready to say what it is just yet. Once I have everything in my hands, I will definitely tell what it is. I'm excited and a little nervous cause it's something new that I've never done before. My husband is supporting me 100% and I can't thank him enough.<br />
<br />
Until next time....Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-48116385485595679692011-02-14T09:27:00.000-08:002011-02-14T09:27:02.135-08:00DefeatSo much for doing things for me. I've been wanting to go to Zumba class forever. I haven't made it to one in two months. It's at 1630 and J gets off at random times. This whole one car issue is really getting to me.Yet, I don't think we can swing two car payments plus insurance and still have money for other things. J thinks we can but I digress.<br />
<br />
Anyways. I've been a ball of mess.. I'm not sure what's going on with my emotions but they are out of control. Everything and almost everyone gets on my nerves. I'm always quiet so I don't snap or go off on anybody. I haven't checked my sugar in days.<br />
I had an infusion set on for 5 days straight when it's only supposed to be on for 3. McKenzie's room is a mess because someone (not me) let her eat popcorn in her room and she turned the bowl over. It's been there for days and I don't care about picking it up when I specifically said I didn't want her eating in her room. <br />
<br />
Yesterday, J wanted to go and look at houses. I didn't. I told him before he took his nap (must be nice) that I had to wash McKenzie's hair and I wanted to flat iron mine. It took me two hours on McKenzie's hair and I had no energy to do mine.<br />
<br />
Today, I had planned on going the the commissary and Target. Nothing special, I just wanted to get out the house. He gets home at 0800 for PT and asks if I'm going cause he has to pick up 2 people before he heads to work. So I start to get myself AND McKenzie ready so *I* can put the carseats in the truck and arrange it so he can pick up whoever. So I just say fuck it cause I'm in a pissy mood cause *I* am the one rushing to get us all ready and out the door by 0845. Then he starts on how if I knew I wanted to go then I should've been ready to begin with. Really? Maybe if I had some help to do some things, then we could be ready in time.<br />
<br />
I'm just so frustrated with trying to do everything and make sure we're out the door on time so he won't be late. Wednesday, I have a counseling session at 0900 and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get Kenzie to daycare and him to work and me to the appointment. <br />
<br />
I'm just so tired of feeling defeated.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-13852242763932988082011-01-23T21:36:00.000-08:002011-01-23T21:36:53.732-08:00Back in the rutIt's been so long since I've blogged, it's ridiculous. But I said I would try to get back into blogging and getting things off my chest.<br />
<br />
I'm stuck back in this rut and I have no idea how to get out of it completely. I'll go in it, come out for a week or two, and then somehow get back in it again. So weird and crazy. <br />
<br />
<br />
Tonight, McKenzie didn't take a nap until 17:00 after she had an early dinner. Now she's up and weird. My husband decides he's going to sleep at 20:00. Guess who gets to stay up with the munchkin? That's right. Little ole me. Unfortunately, I'm used to this happening. However, just because I'm used to it doesn't mean I wouldn't like a break.<br />
<br />
For instance, today we ordered pizza for dinner. I went, alone mind you, to get it. I also went to the Dodge dealer and looked at the 2011 Dodge Durangos, which are super sexy. I digress. ANYWAYS, I get a text asking, "Where are you? McKenzie keeps asking for you." Really? She asks for her daddy every morning she wakes up and he's gone to work. Guess who deals with that? Yep, me. While my husband was watching the football game, I brought my MacBook to the couch and browsed for free eBooks. However, I couldn't have any silence without someone calling my name or mentioning something or another. <br />
<br />
It's just frustrating. I barely can bathe in peace. Forget about taking an actual bath and getting to soak for 30 minutes or an hour. I don't get a day off. I don't get a sick day. I don't get vacation. Sometimes, actually, all the time, I wish I worked a regualr job so I could have a reason to relax on the couch, do limited to no housework, and still take care of a child.<br />
<br />
Somedays I don't even want to think straight. Let alone run this house.<br />
<br />
What I would give for 48 hours of complete and utter silence.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-80374161086285638822010-10-08T11:36:00.000-07:002010-10-08T11:36:31.724-07:00Frustration<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I cook and clean 7 days a week. I have our daughter everyday while he's at work. Even when his Is it too much to ask that I can get a small break?? J has a 4 day weekend. His idea of cleaning is loading/unloading the dishwasher. Which in itself is nothing. He walked into the kitchen to ask me what I'm doing. I responded, "Cleaning." He said, "Okay." and went back to playing his game. Really??? Don't ask me what I'm doing, then go back to doing what makes YOU happy. I just love cleaning everydamnedday *sarcasm*</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I had to text my friend <a href="http://www.wtfrain.com/">Rain</a> this morning cause I was so frustrated. I'm so glad she understood where I was coming from with this. I'd just KILL to have two hours alone. To myself. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I tried to watch Grey's Anatomy last night alone, in peace. 15 minutes into it. I'm getting asked a silly question: "What you watching?" *epic eye roll* Get away from me dude. </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The text Rain today had my dying. Goodness! </div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="color: red; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"Can deploy and fight in a war but can't clean a kitchen or make a bed."</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I told her I asked J to make our bed up. He had no idea where our sheets were. We've lived here 6 months! Goodness gracious. I just can't win sometimes. </span>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-19409253242479917352010-09-23T13:47:00.000-07:002010-09-23T13:48:13.978-07:00Some peopleThis is going to be a random post.<br />
<br />
I'm a member of a few Military Support boards. One in particular is what I'm going to talk about.<br />
<br />
They had a thread on tipping. Then a spin-off thread of tipping the commissary baggers. The commissary baggers work for TIPS ONLY.<br />
<br />
There were a few wives who were so deadset against tipping. This quote blew my mind:<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red; font-family: ComicSans;"> "I refuse to tip them and let them live off my husband's hard earned and TAXED money, while they remain undocumented and don't have to report what they earn. It just bothers me.." </span></b><br />
<br />
<br />
HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU JUST UP AND GUESS THAT THEY ARE UNDOCUMENTED??<br />
<br />
I swear the stupidity of some people blow my mind. I'm not against tipping ANYONE who provides a service for me. A tip is also EARNED. The better the service from you, the better the tip from me.<br />
<br />
I also make sure to tip the baggers. Especially if i have my daughter with me. I'm focusing on getting her into the car. They can do my bags and I will accommodate accordingly. <br />
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End of my rant for today. And no I'm not talking about anybody in particular. And if you're thinking I'm talking about you (general), get off your fucking high horse and duck a sick (Thanks for that, Tia!)Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-53166212750964146182010-09-07T18:38:00.000-07:002010-09-07T18:38:54.064-07:00ResentfulIt's been 5 years since I decided I wanted to become a nurse. Yet, 4 years later, I haven't made any progress towards that goal. I can't go back to school because we can't afford it. Between daycare and the tuition, we'd be under water before the sun went down for the day. <br />
<br />
Resent. <br />
<br />
I was asked by my husband to watch one of his friend's kids so the guy's wife could go to training for her new job. <br />
<br />
More resent.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure I'm cut out for this SAHM/SAHW stuff. It's like I spend my day yelling and screaming at two kids. My husband said he understands but I honestly don't think he does. No matter how I try and explain it, it never comprehends to him like it does in my head. <br />
<br />
*sighs deeply* <br />
<br />
I pray things get better cause I'm sick of hating the decisions I've made.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-31377760859137318892010-08-24T10:08:00.000-07:002010-08-24T10:08:07.622-07:00BoredI've been sitting on this blog for way too long. Letting things brew and fester and go sour. My friend <a href="http://wtfrain.com/">Rain</a> wrote a post and it's basically forcing me to talk about what's been bothering me for so long.<br />
<br />
Essentially speaking, I'm bored.<br />
<br />
I have no job. I'm taking a coding class yet I haven't actively done anything in over a month. I have nothing to do everyday except cook and clean. I'd literally kill to be working right now. I'd kill quicker to be in school working on a degree I've wanted for the past 5 years. I so envy those moms who can work or go to school with a toddler. I'm so fucking jealous of that. It's pitiful when I'm looking forward to going to a damn doctor's appointment. <br />
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I have to wake up at the asscrack of dawn (usually 6am) just to get some quiet time alone to myself. Jeremy leaves at 0530-0545 and McKenzie sleeps til 0800. I hate that I can't enjoy sleeping til 0800 with her. I'm lucky if I can get a 10 minute shower to myself. <br />
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My diabetes is suffering like hell cause of this funk I'm in. That's the last thing that should be suffering but oh well *shrugs*Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-78394967423544370482010-08-03T18:27:00.000-07:002010-08-03T18:27:36.345-07:00ApprovedThis came in the mail today. I instantly started smiling. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/Resize/img001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/Resize/img001.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />
<br />
For those who follow me on Twitter or are fairly close to me know how much this means to me. I've been waiting to see if I could possibly switch from <a href="http://www.omnipod.com/">OmniPod</a> to the <a href="http://www.minimed.com/products/insulinpumps/">MiniMed Paradigm Revel</a> since the MM's reservoir is 100u's bigger than the OmniPod's 200u Pod capacity. Fellow Army wife, diabetic, and friend, <a href="http://diabetesdaily.com/shockley">Cherise</a>, told me that TriWest would gladly approve it because they dislike the OmniPod system. She was right :) Now the suspenseful wait begins as the when I actually receive my new pump.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-63857909252562798432010-07-19T22:42:00.000-07:002010-07-19T22:50:18.388-07:00He's home!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/IMG_3060.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/IMG_3060.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
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My husband is home. That's all that matters to me right now. Yes, his deployment was alot shorter than others BUT it was still a deployment.<br />
<br />
Some people slay me with the things they say yet none of that makes a difference in my world. All the name brand things won't keep me warm at night. My husband will. My family means more to me than any material thing ever could.<br />
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Alot of units here have been getting their dates of return pushed back. I've dealt with that too during this deployment. It's part of the Army's unwritten motto: "Hurry up and wait." It's what we as wives signed up for. No, I'm not saying that complaining isn't allowed or tolerated. But there's only so much that complaining will do.<br />
<br />
I'd give up all my purses if that meant he'd never deploy again. Yes, I'm THAT serious.<br />
<br />
ETA: And if your every status or FB is complaining about something or another that you can't control, well maybe you need to step back and look in the mirror and see WHY you are complaining.<br />
<div><br />
</div>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-28974657575950251022010-07-09T18:25:00.001-07:002010-07-09T18:25:56.267-07:00Hard work,<br>I'm trying out a new Blogger app out on my Hero. Hopefully I like it. <br /><br>I talked to my husband yesterday. We discussed alot and we seem to have a pretty good plan to deal with our misunderstandings. It's weird how some days I can love him more than my heart can hold. Then other days I can hate him as much as I hate my ex's. <br /><br>4 years together, 3 years married in September. It takes work. Lots of work to make a marriage work and keep it together. Yet it worth every minute of hard work<br />Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-50697018542673009162010-07-05T12:57:00.000-07:002010-07-05T12:59:51.824-07:00Official<div style="text-align: center;">It's official. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/Avatars/7142239_2920139.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/Avatars/7142239_2920139.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I spoke with my husband today on Yahoo messenger. And we have his official date. FINALLY! This date has been changed so many times over the past month it's not even funny. But it wouldn't be the Army if it was set in stone. <br />
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I can count on 3 hands how long it will be before my husband will be in my arms.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-5243239836624750812010-06-25T06:11:00.000-07:002010-06-25T06:11:52.368-07:00Not happyI can't begin to remember when the last time I'm was truly happy.<br />
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I take that back. Last time I was truly happy was when my daughter ran into my arms after not seeing me for months.<br />
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Before that, I have no earthly idea.<br />
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I'm tired of catering to everyone else. Fucking tired. Let my husband tell it, nothing I do is right. I'm constantly fucking up with something.<br />
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He's coming home in a few weeks and I can honestly and truly admit that I'm not looking forward to it. Of course, I want him home safe and our daughter wants her daddy.<br />
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I've been in Tennessee exactly 10 days. And I want to go home. I'll be here another 5 days to make matters even worse.<br />
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Why is that you ask?<br />
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I missed my flight. And also because as soon as I set foot in Tennessee, I was waiting on my husband to say something related to my past fuck up which has led us to where we are now.<br />
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I started seeing a counselor this month. Only have had one session so far. Honestly, I doubt it's gonna work but whatever. My husband wanted me to do it and I did for him.<br />
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I'm slipping back into a depression. And honestly, I don't even care that I am going back down that road again.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-51814319620033411132010-05-31T19:16:00.000-07:002010-05-31T19:16:10.505-07:00Memorial DayThis will be a somewhat short post.<br />
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HOWEVER.<br />
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I want to say that I am very thankful an d gracious for all those who serve, have served, and have given their life to serve our country.<br />
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My husband is one who is serving. Going from the Tennessee National Guard to the active duty US Army, he has made me very proud.<br />
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By serving our country, he has missed alot of our marriage. When I was pregnant with McKenzie, Jeremy was in OSUT at For Leonard Wood, MO. He missed half of that. When I got my induction date, he was at Fort Dix, NJ preparing for his first deployment two months out of training. Luckily he didn't miss her birth. He was in Iraq the first year of our marriage and the first year of her life. I am grateful for him and the sacrifices he's made to provide for us. He is currently on tour number 2 and will be home soon. But never soon enough.<br />
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There are those who have been injured or KIA and my prayers are definitely with the families dealing with the loss of their loved ones.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-56428302943256649672010-05-16T13:22:00.000-07:002010-05-16T13:22:38.926-07:00Deployments suck donkey ballsThis blog post is one I've been debating for a while on doing. My best friend, <a href="http://abeautifulmind87.blogspot.com/">Andrea</a>, said I should since I have alot on my mind. I can't thank her enough for talking me through this whole ordeal. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2Vl2WBUXKi8/S_BRuGgU1YI/AAAAAAAAAEY/ARjx48rq84I/s1600/deardeployment.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_2Vl2WBUXKi8/S_BRuGgU1YI/AAAAAAAAAEY/ARjx48rq84I/s320/deardeployment.png" /></a></div><br />
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A week ago, I got a very scary email titled "Almost got me."<br />
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It was from my husband.<br />
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The gist of it was the Stryker he was in hit and IED (improvised explosive device). He had a concussion and a few other injuries. I thank God that he wasn't injured any worse than he was. Two others in the vehicle were casualties.<br />
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This is his first deployment injury. I knew it would happen at some point. It's part of the job, KWIM? I'm not some naive wife who thinks certain things will NEVER happen to my husband. Things like this remind me exactly what my husband sacrifices for us. A blessing and a curse at the same time.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-41569804568070383352010-05-03T21:13:00.000-07:002010-05-03T21:13:57.409-07:00New military endoWell lets start of with that today was a typical Monday.<br />
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<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/Resize/?action=view¤t=mondays-1-300x282.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/sweettanhunny/Resize/mondays-1-300x282.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a><br />
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I woke up at 07:32. My appointment to see my new endocrinologist for the first time was at 08:00. I had exactly 28 minutes to get dressed, drive to base, and check in at Madigan Army Medical Center(MAMC). Let's just say base traffic between 06:00 and 08:00 is ludicrous. Absolutely ludicrous i tell you. I got there at 08:05. Thank God the receptionist is a sweetheart. She rushed the paperwork and vitals for me.<br />
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My new endocrinologist is very nice. He knows what he's talking about. I was warned about the military doctors but I was very impressed this time. The overall visit was great. My A1C went from a 9.5 (December) to a 7.1 (March, on pump too) to a fawking 10 (May). A FREAKING 10! I almost cried when I saw that number. Yes, I haven't been the best diabetic there is but damn. I'm trying my hardest. Even more so now.<br />
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He looked at my logs and wasn't happy. Hell, neither was I but I digress. He decided to change me from Apidra to Novolog and also gave me Symlin to help my after meal bg's and to help with the grazing I'm trying to cut back on. I also had lots of labwork done again. This time I gave up 5 vials of my pretty red blood. I'm used to it by now. If I'm not, then something is definitely wrong.<br />
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I made a FB status about diabetes. I said that I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone but that some people need to live with it for 72 hours before making snide comments about something they know jack shit about. That pisses me off so much. I've had my share of those comments. Diabetes is a hard thing to control. Just like that fucking diarrhea of the mouth that you have.<br />
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I went with a friend, Tia, to a deployed spouses dinner. It was very nice and alot of fun. I met a fellow wife who's husband is in the unit that my husband is assigned to. It was good to talk to other people who understood these constant deployments. My husband has had 2 in 4 years. Tia's husband has had 4 in 7 years. The odd thing is my husband has 2 (yes, TWO) combat MOS's on him, yet Tia's husband's MOS isn't even combat or frontline. Odd workings of the Army I tell ya. Just never know which way that deployment flag is gonna swing...Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-79384716247926692912010-04-28T19:47:00.000-07:002010-04-28T19:47:43.422-07:00Randomness<object style="background-image:url(http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/NTuMim7Bz0U/hqdefault.jpg)" width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NTuMim7Bz0U&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NTuMim7Bz0U&hl=en_US&fs=1" width="425" height="344" allowScriptAccess="never" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><br /><br />ETA: Jsut got home from the gym and what do you know, I experienced a dizzy moment on the elliptical. Guess I jinxed myself cause I was lowBrandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-87739298833198368502010-04-20T13:28:00.000-07:002010-04-20T13:28:28.851-07:00Oddness<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">40 Things to Share<br />
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You know the drill! 40 ODD things about you!</span><br />
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1. Do you like blue cheese dressing? Not a fan of it. Prefer my ranch<br />
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2. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Yeah when I was 17. Only did it to get breaks when I worked at McD's. Didn't know much about the labor law at the time. It didn't stick, thank God<br />
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3. Do you own a gun? No, Jeremy wants to get me one though. Not sure how I feel about that just yet.<br />
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4. What's your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shops? Venti Mocha Frappucino with no whip and extra chocolate drizzle *drools*<br />
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5. What do you think of hot dogs? Nothing like a burnt hot dog with some mustard and relish on it. Yummy<br />
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6. Favorite Christmas song? hmm.. maybe rock around the christmas tree<br />
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7. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I always drink water first thing then maybe a cup of coffee.<br />
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8. Can you do push ups? a few. trying to get stronger in my upper body<br />
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9. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? my wedding set. it's a reminder of all the jackasses I had to date to meet the wonderful man who chose me as his wife<br />
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10. Favorite hobbies? playing with my daughter, shopping, bowling, shooting pool, 4wheeling, decorating,<br />
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11. Do you have ADD? nope<br />
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12. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? probably my indecisiveness<br />
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13. Middle name? Marie<br />
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14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I wish I could hit the lotto. I need to get up and finish the laundry. Can't wait for Sunday to get here.<br />
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15. 3 drinks I drink most often? water, water, and tea. Trying my best to stay away from soda water<br />
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16. Current worry right now? none. I turned my worries over to God. He will take care of them for me.<br />
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17. Current dislikes right now? Money, specifically that I don't have as much as I want.. but then, what average person does?<br />
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18. Favorite place to be? with my family and true friends<br />
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19. How did you ring in the New Year? nope. slept the night away<br />
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20. Like to Travel? love it! can't wait to go back to Florida. We are planning for a Disney trip when Jeremy comes home.<br />
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21. Name two people who will complete this survey? I dunno.<br />
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22. Do you own slippers? Yes, blue fuzzy memory foam slippers<br />
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23. What color shirt are you wearing? white<br />
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24. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? Negative. I have to talk to my Kenzie-Bug everyday. Have to.<br />
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25. What songs do you sing in the shower? whatever is playing on my MacBook at the time.<br />
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26. Favorite girl name? MaKayla, McKenna<br />
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27. Favorite boy name? MaKell/McKell, thanks to my old supervisor Kinyatta.<br />
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28. What's in your pocket right now? no telling. wearing hubby's PT shorts<br />
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29. Last thing that made you laugh? the image in my head of Tia dancing to a song by Usher<br />
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30. Worst injury you've ever had? abscess under my breast. Not. fun. at. all.<br />
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31. Do you love where you live? I like it a lot. Getting used to the rain still.<br />
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32. How many TV's do you have in your house? 2, soon to be 3<br />
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33. Who is your loudest friend? I wouldn't call her loud...just outspoken. And that would be Andrea<br />
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34. Does someone have a crush on you? well, I believe my husband does.. anyone else is just going to have to keep it to themselves... not happening.<br />
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35. What is your favorite candy? dark chocolate. I know it isn't REALLY candy, but I don't like candy much.<br />
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36. Favorite Sports Team? don't really have one.<br />
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37. What were you doing 12 AM last night? inhaling the pillowcase<br />
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38. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? "why is THAT muscle hurting. Didn't think I used that when I worked out." LOL<br />
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39. What is your favorite Holiday? Thanksgiving<br />
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40. What are you plans for tomorrow? Gym, PX, post office, home</span>Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436425458508156517.post-65147927298040904382010-04-16T20:17:00.000-07:002010-04-16T20:17:20.132-07:00VentingDISCLAIMER: There's lots of bad words. I have a potty mouth right now.<br />
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This blog post will be all over the place. I just got home from an outing with another Army wife who is stationed here at Lewis. This lady, and I use the term losely, is a piece of fucking work. <br />
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To start off, she invited me to a brunch where the hostess doesn't like "certain types of blacks."<br />
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That's <s><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Strike One.</span></s><br />
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She also commented and judged me as a mother. Everybody knows my daughter is the love of my life. She's my Princess and I'll be damned if you try and say I'm a bad mommy. She commented on my daughter still being in TN. I'm sorry but if my MOTHER wants to keep her GRANDDAUGHTER longer than originally planned, I'm not about to say anything. My mom has been there since day 1 and I'll be damned if I snatch her only grandchild away. Fuck you and the damn horse your wanna be sadity ass rode in on.<br />
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That's <s><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Strike Two.</span></s><br />
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And today, we went shopping. As usual, I love to shop for my house and for my daughter. And if I see something I like for either, I'm gonna get it. For instance, I found some great framed quotes for my dining room. I also got McKenzie some sandals and a round Dora chair. I don't need any person, other my the man who put the rock on my finger, to count the money I spend. I can control myself. My bills are paid so what the fuck is it to you if I buy what I want?? I'm sorry that our husbands got paid today and your ass is already broke. That's not my fucking problem. Last time I check, our bank accounts were sitting comfortably. Once again, fuck you and that damn horse your ass rode in on.<br />
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<s><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Strike Three.</span></s><br />
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A friend of mine told me today that I'm usually so pleasant when I tweet. My tweets today were off my usual character. I try not to let dumb bitches get to me, but this bitch involved my daughter and that's where I draw the line. Talk about me or my husband all day long. But when you involve her, I will blow the fuck up and don't give a damn about it. *breathes deeply*<br />
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On another note, usually if you invite someone over your house, you don't leave your sex toys in the guest bathroom. There's nothing better than looking down while washing my hands and being greeted by your blue vibrator.<br />
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And another note, there were Obama protestors outside the fair today. I'm all for freedom of speech. You don't have to like our POTUS. I like him and can't help that he has to fix Bush's fuck up. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF YOUR ASS SHUSHES ME WHILE I'M USING MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH.</span> My own husband doesn't shush me. Never has and I'll be damned if he does. I can't help it that I'm an outspoken person. I'm also sorry for you. Sorry that your husband won't allow you to speak your mind. *shrugs* Thank God I'm not married to his trifling ass.<br />
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Okay time for happy stuffs *chuckles*<br />
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I got to talk to both of my babies today. My daughter asked me for a fish tank for her room. And my husband is doing fine. Thank you the prayers and good thoughts.<br />
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Okay, I'm off my soapbox for today.<br />
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P.S. I hate wives who wear their husband's rank. Even if my husband outranks yours, you will never know it. I'm humble enough to be thankful for the blessings I have instead of trying to showboat when you ain't got a pot to piss in.Brandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430124391404199343noreply@blogger.com3