Monday, February 14, 2011


So much for doing things for me. I've been wanting to go to Zumba class forever. I haven't made it to one in two months. It's at 1630 and J gets off at random times. This whole one car issue is really getting to me.Yet, I don't think we can swing two car payments plus insurance and still have money for other things. J thinks we can but I digress.

Anyways. I've been a ball of mess.. I'm not sure what's going on with my emotions but they are out of control. Everything and almost everyone gets on my nerves. I'm always quiet so I don't snap or go off on anybody. I haven't checked my sugar in days.
I had an infusion set on for 5 days straight when it's only supposed to be on for 3. McKenzie's room is a mess because someone (not me) let her eat popcorn in her room and she turned the bowl over. It's been there for days and I don't care about picking it up when I specifically said I didn't want her eating in her room.

Yesterday, J wanted to go and look at houses. I didn't. I told him before he took his nap (must be nice) that I had to wash McKenzie's hair and I wanted to flat iron mine.  It took me two hours on McKenzie's hair and I had no energy to do mine.

Today, I had planned on going the the commissary and Target. Nothing special, I just wanted to get out the house. He gets home at 0800 for PT and asks if I'm going cause he has to pick up 2 people before he heads to work. So I start to get myself AND McKenzie ready so *I* can put the carseats in the truck and arrange it so he can pick up whoever. So I just say fuck it cause I'm in a pissy mood cause *I* am the one rushing to get us all ready and out the door by 0845. Then he starts on how if I knew I wanted to go then I should've been ready to begin with. Really? Maybe if I had some help to do some things, then we could be ready in time.

I'm just so frustrated with trying to do everything and make sure we're out the door on time so he won't be late. Wednesday, I have a counseling session at 0900 and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get Kenzie to daycare and him to work and me to the appointment.

I'm just so tired of feeling defeated.